Flowing Through The Resistance

For the past few days I have been met with resistance.

Resistance to being in the present, to letting go.

Resistance toward my future.

When we are at an unknown crossroad in our lives, we may find that old familiar patterns arise.

I have found myself scrolling endlessly on social media to distract myself from pain.

I have had the urge to seek validation from men.

I have turned to alcohol.

I have found safety in food, or lack of it.

But none of those outlets bring me any joy.

They all are resisting the now.

These are all products of past conditioning that I need to decondition myself from.

Nothing I find on social media can set me free.

No man can give me the validation I need to feel beautiful, to feel worthy, to feel whole.

I will not find solace in the bottom of a bottle or in the first sip of a drink.

Eating my way through the darkness will only fill me with disgust, not joy. 

All of these methods are ways in which I have coped in the past.

I have laid plaster upon plaster over my wounds with these so called antidotes.

I have the power to go deeper than these artificial retreats. 

I can tell myself I am strong, worthy and beautiful.

I can switch off from social media to minimise my anxiety.

I can say no to the drink that will make my mind quieten for only a matter of minutes.

I can fuel my body with wholesome foods that nourish not hinder. 

It is only I who can heal and create a new path to navigate through this pain.

It is only I who can craft new coping mechanisms that push through the resistance and bring me into the present.

It is only I who can look inward to find the answers as clear as day.

It is only I.

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Why You Should Listen To Your Intuition & How

Think back to a time when you have had a bad gut feeling about something. It could be in regards to a person, a situation or a place. Sometimes we choose to listen, other times we ignore. But I can guarantee that you will reflect on that feeling and be glad that you had it.

When travelling I could sense danger about situations and people almost instantly. My intuition became my only guide as I found myself in scenarios that even my mind couldn’t comprehend. From near dodgy hostel stays, dangerous motorcycle rides or disingenuous friendships, I tuned in wholeheartedly. I only had myself to rely on in those situations and thankfully I am here to tell the story today.

But what about listening to your gut when you are not alone? What about in relationships? We have all known a time when somebody hasn’t been right for us, be it a partner or a friend. Sometimes we get addicted to the pain of being treated badly or get comfortable and complacent. We try and make friendships work even when that person doesn’t align with our values or have our best interests at heart. All along that niggling gut feeling is usually present throughout but its amplitude may vary.

“Intuition is seeing with the soul.” 
― Dean Koontz ―

Sometimes we don’t want to tune in. We want to prove our intuition wrong and laugh in the face of its mistake. We think that through distraction and burial it will go away. But until it is addressed, it never will.

If I didn’t address the gut feeling I had about my old lifestyle, I wouldn’t be writing this today. I wouldn’t have rediscovered my love for life, for self-development or for growth. I would have remained stagnant and simply existed for no other fault than that of my own. By walking away from a life that I had built and the future I had began to plan, I would never have flourished. I cracked to let the light seep in and heal my open wounds. It has brought me back to myself and I feel whole again.

If your intuition is trying to tell you something, listen. You can tune in more easily than you think. Take a moment or two to simply breathe, become the watcher of your thoughts and just be. It is only when we look inwards that we can find our truth.

How often do you listen to your intuition?

Starting Over: A New Beginning

I have always been a control freak. I am highly organised, always on time and make plans weeks or months in advance. I am somebody who loves structure but despises its boundaries too. I need stability but also hate the lack of spontaneity and variety it brings. It has been a conflicting battle of mine that I have been fighting for as long as I remember. And I am so sure I am not the only one.

It’s funny how all I craved was stability, but now I have none. I have no job, no home of my own and no clear direction or plan of where I am heading. As much as it fills me with fear, it also fills me with hope.

No longer do I, or you for they matter if you’re in the same position, have an excuse. All too often we use work, chores, commitments and relationships as an excuse of not to do something. I can hear myself saying how I didn’t pursue particular passion projects simply because I didn’t have the time in my schedule. Yet, I found the time to aimlessly scroll on social media or watch TV yet could never commit to working towards something enriching. It is funny how only when our life is stripped back to the basics can we start again.

I am taking the next phase of my life, however long It may last, as the space for self discovery and bringing those passion projects to life. It is a time to play, make mistakes, embrace the unknown and truly thrive. When you have nobody to answer to other than yourself, you begin to unlock parts of you that you never knew existed.

My point is, if you find yourself feeling lost in this new scenario, trust that it will work out. I truly believe they not only does everything happen for a reason, but the Universe has our back. When we begin to put time and effort into self growth and looking within, it is then that real change will happen.

“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?” 
— Bob Marley —