5 months ago I made the decision to change my life. It was a change that I had to make as I no longer knew how to make myself happy. I walked away from a long term relationship, a home and a job so that I could focus on reconnecting with myself.
The decision to change wasn’t easy. It never is. I didn’t know where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do or truly the person I wanted to be. But I knew that I had to take a leap of faith and see where a new pathway could take me. Anything was better than feeling stagnant and unfulfilled in the life I had accepted.
I leapt without a plan. I had little money, few belongings and no idea where I wanted to be. Moving in with my parents was the best decision I made as it gave me permission to press pause. I spent the following months rebuilding myself piece by piece. I watched as I crumbled, depleting myself of all emotion and learnt to accept the person I was.
When you hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. You have the foundation to start afresh and create a life that you wish to live. For too long I was living the life I thought I should because society deemed it acceptable. I followed a path that was not my own, but that of another. I allowed myself to become deeply unhappy because I had lost touch with my core essence and my purpose.
Throughout that time, I got to know myself. I chose to become my own best friend, spending more time in solitude than ever before. It was equally uncomfortable and liberating. I fell in love with journalling, meditation and yoga. I looked my flaws and imperfections in the eye and soon grew to accept them. Digging deep and healing your past isn’t an easy feat for anyone, but it is necessary for our self growth.
Despite not having a clear direction and little access to the outside world, I did have time.
Time to create.
Time to reflect.
Time to ponder, dream and plan.
I gave myself space to dream up the life I had once wished for and began taking steps to create that reality. Now, as I type, I have manifested the love of my life, a new job, a beautiful home in London and have rediscovered my purpose. If you had told me 5 months ago that this is where I would be, I wouldn’t believe you.
When we lose touch with our inner selves, our outer world soon falls apart. We find ourselves unfulfilled, miserable, bored and unhappy. We seek validation from others, excitement from superficial means and get trapped in a never ending cycle. We long for a holiday to relieve us of the present moment and dream of a relationship to transform our lives. No other person, job, possession or amount of money can bring you happiness. It is something that you create and sustain from within. When you align with your true authenticity and your inner purpose, your reality will change dramatically.
You can create the life you want. Absolutely anything is possible if you believe in yourself and step past your self-limiting beliefs. Life begins on the other side of your comfort zone and once you push through fear. You have to be willing to make one small change whether that is to your situation or your mindset. Nobody else is responsible for how your life unfolds, only you. Yes, traumatic events and unfortunate circumstances may impact this but you have a choice whether to become a victim or a warrior.
You can use your story and pain to heal others. Share both your struggles and triumphs to allow others to step into their light. Life isn’t easy for anybody, no matter what highlight reel they choose to show. But you have the power to change your reality and your pathway. You only see how far you have come and which direction you are heading toward when you tune inward and reflect.
There is nothing more uncomfortable than living a life unfulfilled and full of regret. Wondering why you never made a change or took a chance. Reflect on where you are and where you want to go. What changes can to be made? And more importantly, take a look at your situation, struggle and discomfort.
You can allow it to break you, or make you.
What will you choose?