I have always been a control freak. I am highly organised, always on time and make plans weeks or months in advance. I am somebody who loves structure but despises its boundaries too. I need stability but also hate the lack of spontaneity and variety it brings. It has been a conflicting battle of mine that I have been fighting for as long as I remember. And I am so sure I am not the only one.
It’s funny how all I craved was stability, but now I have none. I have no job, no home of my own and no clear direction or plan of where I am heading. As much as it fills me with fear, it also fills me with hope.
No longer do I, or you for they matter if you’re in the same position, have an excuse. All too often we use work, chores, commitments and relationships as an excuse of not to do something. I can hear myself saying how I didn’t pursue particular passion projects simply because I didn’t have the time in my schedule. Yet, I found the time to aimlessly scroll on social media or watch TV yet could never commit to working towards something enriching. It is funny how only when our life is stripped back to the basics can we start again.
I am taking the next phase of my life, however long It may last, as the space for self discovery and bringing those passion projects to life. It is a time to play, make mistakes, embrace the unknown and truly thrive. When you have nobody to answer to other than yourself, you begin to unlock parts of you that you never knew existed.
My point is, if you find yourself feeling lost in this new scenario, trust that it will work out. I truly believe they not only does everything happen for a reason, but the Universe has our back. When we begin to put time and effort into self growth and looking within, it is then that real change will happen.
“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”
— Bob Marley —